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| Courtesy: www.hmeschlmom.wordpress.com |
After
gisting me with the unsolicited highlights of the escapades performed during
his former life, Eddy* said to me, “So, how many times have you had it?” I
looked at him as though he was not serious. He was intelligent enough to guess
my unmentioned answer. He probably knew his question was unworthy of an answer.
Eddy
was my senior colleague at a point in my employment history. I was a university
student on industrial training at that time but I had been privileged to mark
his job aptitude test during the recruitment phase. He was supposed to be my
supervisor but I was the first employee the MD recruited. So, he was inclined
to treating me like an equal. The company structure also encouraged it. It was
a small fledgling company where each worker had direct access to the MD. Eddy
and I shared the same office space and solved official tasks with each other’s
help. So, he was more like an office buddy.
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| www.lagosalive.com |
Perhaps, Eddy wanted to prove to me that he
was once a distinguished bad boy. Or, he wanted to express why the things the Oga on Top did in the office on weekends
were below his own rank. I cannot really say why. But I know he thought I’d be impressed with
his record of sexual adventures. Unfortunately, I had read about King Solomon
the wise. I knew he had at least 1000 women to himself in his lifetime. I felt
no guy in my generation should want to break that record of vanity. If one did,
he’d be so dead, Fela would be sending him hot condolence messages
telepathically. When I did not respond to the question Eddy alias Mr I-have-lost-count-of-the-number-of-times-I-have-had-sex-with-women barked, “Ah! You don’t mean it. Don’t tell me you have never had
it before! Ehn? So, what are we going to do about it now?”
At that point, I
felt I had heard enough and spoke up, “Yes, I have never had it and there is
nothing to be done about it. As a matter of fact, I don’t feel like I am half
as human as you are. In fact, I think I feel more compact. I once considered it
as a teenager. But later on, I changed my mind and I do not intend to revert
it. Really, I think anyone who would try to make me do it is a devil.” He was
really shocked and couldn’t hide its degree. But more than him, I was overtly appalled.
He was shocked that I had entered my twenties as what he referred to as “a
virgin”. I was shocked that he was shocked at such reality. When he asked me
what we were going to do about it. I was pleased to disappoint him again. Since
he was a born-again Christian attending a prayerful church I told him he needed
to accept the real version of Christ. The one he had installed in his heart was
not genuine. “By the way, where did you say you got that version of salvation
from again? Hey, let’s just place a call to the heavenly Microsoft crew. You
either need a repair or reinstallation bro.” I jokingly said before walking out
to renew my mind.
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| Photo credits: www.belindaotas.com |
It’s
true that I haven’t had sex before; and honestly, it is not a big deal! At
least, it does not affect the price of crayfish at Bodija market. I mean, the
fact that I haven’t had sex before is no reason why anyone should raise their
eyebrows or form a chuckle. That decision is like one of these things: not
driving any car until you get to buy your own car, not keeping a garden until
you get to own a house or not buying paracetamol tablets until the hour you
have a serious headache. Relative to the eventual act of sex, the decision to
have or not have sex bears more weight. If the act comes after the decision,
then it may a big deal to those judging you. I think that as a young unmarried
person, more energy and focus would be saved if sex were avoided until the
right time. Whether or not you’re a virgin, I think you should make a
commitment to remaining the way you are until you are really married.
Again, maybe people need to be
reminded that the decision to have or not have sex is personal. Whichever way,
you know the forces acting on you. Let each man abide in his present state.
Virginity is valued morally but it bears no value in heaven. Needless to say,
when you are a virgin, you save yourself from many sorrows. Yet, there is no
condemnation for those who have lost their virginity. If you are not one, you
should not be crucified by others who claim to be; neither should you try to be
an Eddy unto those who are “virgins”.
*Eddy is not the real name of
that my former colleague.
