Mad, From Within and Beyond: The Mad Men Finale

Africans are fond of seeing things extraordinarily. Over here, psychiatric disorder has a superstitious dimension. Several African tribes believe that casting a spell on a person could result in insanity and that such could only be treated with the influence of similarly diabolical or oppositely supernatural means. The underlying belief propping this school of thought is the idea that madness is a spirit that can be invoked and revoked at the will of a deity. Also, a person that is said to be enchanted by such spirit of lunacy manifests behavioural trends that are beyond the ordinarily momentous level of madness described above. This idea is not strange as it complements the usual spiritual explanations that many religious Africans give to various scientific theories.

A young man performing ablution on a power transformer

In law (including the rules binding most African nation-states), an offence committed under the medically confirmed status of insanity may not be punished. This is because the accused or guilty person is proven to not be in the frame of mind that makes the usual punishment perceivable. Persons whose madness endlessly linger can do anything from hurting other people to killing themselves and will not understand the consequences or penalties which the law enforce for such crimes. Though if punished, they may feel the emotion of torture and can die, the fear of punishment or a realization of the associated consequences may be absent or too weak to help constrain the repeat of such actions.

So, are we all mad? My answer is a clear “Yes” and it is so because, at the minimum, we each exhibit a minuscule measure of madness. If improperly managed excitement, wild ecstasy or prolonged moodiness could lead to permanent lunacy then each man has a certain level of probability and an inherent ability to run mad –no matter how minute. Even in persons who have very low hormonal or emotional stimulation and do not react or respond spontaneously, the ambiguity of their expressions still results in some form of madness. For instance, if some persons were so choleric in temperament that they do not cry at the death of an intimate relation, such behaviour is arguably a kind of madness.

Perhaps, you have divergent thoughts or even nurse a true interest along the line of psycho-studies, then I’d suggest that you consider taking up Boston University’s offer of Master and Doctoral studies in Psychoanalysis. Since, I’ve been receiving their mails, I know that they entertain candidates with first degrees from almost any field and their Master’s degree is scheduled to hold for one year. But, if you do decide to go and earn a D.Psych at Boston, please be kind enough to do some study on the mental state of the Boko Haram group menacing the peace of inhabitants in Northern Nigeria. They claim to be against education but there is surely more to it than mere hatred for education. Theirs is a type of madness that is neither temporal nor ordinary.

And please, remember to send your recommendations about the suicidal madness to the head of state of the Nigerian republic as the issue is now one that commands national attention.

Diagnosing the World of [Good + Bad = Good]

Written by Farooq Kolawole esq. & Ayo Morakinyo

In days of yore lie the handy hints, salubrious stories and looming lessons that illuminate our living and unclose its window into the faintest future. ---Morakinyo A.J.

 Some, out of the many times, I have asked myself “why peer into the past to seek distinct pointers? “, the common response has been, “Why not?”  If growing up was fun and it’s all we have as evidence, why take our minds off it? Though we are still growing and learning, our lives are now upon the wings of time, ticking off with the clock’s cockiness, at the rate of each man’s breath...

                We were either born lefties or righties and did learn with time that what we do is either bad or good. We learnt it is good to share with others, to return lost items to their owners, to obey our parents and respect older persons. We were also told not to: pick what belonged to others, lie, steal, cheat or hurt others. We were told many other things too which altogether form the foundation of our future. And it makes me believe that we have learnt all we need in life right from our kindergarten days. Everything you need to know has been taught to you somewhere or sometime in the past. Maybe in simpler words and plainer pictures, but they’ve all been taught. What we learn today are their complex syntheses.

                I believe we were born to live simple and not complicatedly. What are the things we really need to live? What makes up a good life? Being happy with what you have, sharing your joy, playing fairly, being sorry when you do wrong, making peace, preventing violence, respecting other people’s views, properties and privacy and maybe, cleaning up your own mess. They tend to grant us a good life. But oftentimes, we complicate things for ourselves. Life’s complications start when your wants or desires exceed your needs; when you chase things just because you want them; not because they improve your life or other’s welfare. Many times, we focus on our wants and not our needs. Usually, it’s about the latest fashion, the newest gadgets and every other thing that’s up-to-the-minute. And, that’s where the entire world is heading to.

                Today, the world is complicated. It is an evolving place where:

good is > or = bad and good + (bad) ² = good,

A world where people only care about their neighbours as time (t) → o.

Friends = people who are yet to hurt you and where immorality = what the wrong majority says rocks. 

It’s a new world where “smartness” = cheating others + not getting caught and if you return a lost-but-found item, then you’re said to be quite dull.

In the present world, the fact that you’re a virgin could get you scorned at by “so-called” friends. Drinking, drugging and smoking are what makes people call you a “tough guy” otherwise, you're called "old-school". If you’re slapped on the face and choose to walk away, they say you are a weakling. Indecent dressing and fornication is fun, if you’re not doing it, you need to speak to a psychiatrist. Those are just a few of the beliefs people use to complicate life in this age group. Our grandparents think they have seen the worst that could ever happen in our own time. But perhaps, the next generation will render us awestruck in our own old age.

                Ultimately, dramatic steps should be taken if the youths of today or, as they are often called, the leaders of tomorrow will not miss it completely. Many of us are lost in a world that is not ours. We live in fantasies and chase the shadows of reality. But governments, our parents and the elders of our societies must be involved in curbing this evolution. In nurturing the youth, the truth must be spoken and remarkable examples are necessary. Our leaders must strive to show good examples to the youth. If the youths have no heroes to emulate in this era, the next era will conjure a wonderful disaster. Misguiding the youths is tantamount to an effective plan for extinguishing the nation’s future. On the other hand, the youths too must accept change and become solution providers. They must be conscious of their roles in a world that is subject to the forces of nature and humanity. If the world will become better, we must all demonstrate individual responsibility concerning the future in thoughts and actions.

        And maybe we should keep learning because we'd never know enough. The easiest way to do that is to build on existing knowledge. Or at least, challenge existing knowledge.

Would You Eat A Dead Whale?

You woke up on a sunny Saturday morning and headed to the beach to have some fun; with splendid imaginations of how wonderful your time in solitude or among friends is going to be. But, on the contrary, you are welcomed by the noxious smell of a dead whale lying on the seashore in the midst of a boisterous crowd. Members of the crowd are not even bothered by the offensive smell of the decomposing mammal. Rather, they are  cheerfully gouging and incising the whale’s meaty flesh with every kind of fathomable cutlery. You were ogling and they too were fitfully staring back; as if to question your lethargic and disparaging stance, "Wouldn't you rather join?".  If you had been there that day, what would you have done? If you had membered among the multitude at the scene in November 2010, what would have been your decision? Let’s create a diorama built on assumptions.

Perhaps, you had gotten there that day and instantly changed your course. You were very shocked to find a dead baby whale at the bar beach. Beyond that, you were surprised that fellow Nigerians like you were their trying to obtain some portions from the "fish." But again, you had thought, "this is Nigeria, a country where some people’s ideals varies at times and strange things may appear like a norm. So, you were disinterested in the whole beach idea and simply returned home.

            Or, upon arriving at the invented abattoir that day, you were nettled by the  butchers' nefarious act. Instead of sighting the minutest portion of the whale meat for a brief examination, you were grossly vexed by the attack perpetrated at the whale’s corpse. You had thought, “This is wrong! Animals too have rights!” The countenance of the feckless whale had moved you so deeply that you had tried to stop the hacking. After all attempts to persuade the police to come over had ridiculously failed, you had hijacked the local harpoon of one the most assiduous whale hunters and lambasted him verbally.  In return, you had received the beating of your life while the other hunters acted deaf and blind to your cry for help.

On a third likelyhood, you had arrived at the scene and joined them in chopping off some free meat. In fact, you had grown so interested and returned home to fetch buckets big enough to cart away extra meat portions. On your way back, you were even nice enough to alert two of your neighbours about the manna from the sea wasting away at the beach: “Baba Wale! Iya Isiaka! Wetin you dey do? Your mates dey beach dey commot free meat. U siddon here dey brush yeye teeth wey never bite meat. Na wa o!” Then, you’d sped off to the street to catch a commercial bike back to your spot at the new abattoir.

            Finally, there are those who were not at the beach that day.  I  rather belong to this group because visiting the beach has not appeared on my agenda for many reasons. If I took a count of my beach trips on one hand, I'd still have spaces. Like the others, I neither perceived the smell of the decaying corpse nor obtained a meat portion for "whale fish" pepper soup. To us and the rest, it is astonishing  that persons of similar tongues could  suddenly develop the ability to eat decaying meat, especially the kind that belonged to a baby whale. A whale is a marine animal which seasoned taxonomists term as a mammal and not a fish the eaters called it. But on a second thought, what won't people do? What cant they eat?

            This is Lagos metropolis; a city where many inhabitants still sleep with half-empty stomachs and a hungry man is perhaps the next disaster to consider after a suicidal terrorist. A hungry man would do anything to quench his hunger; a suicidal terrorist would kill a pregnant woman while she's in labour.  The are both driven by wild emotions. In less virulent but similar fashion, countless youths in the metropolis are driven by dangerous values. They are often found expending more time on futile pleasures and idleness than in working for a living. You never know the extent of a man’s hidden potential for evil and cannot accurately predict his desperation quotient until he is recruited for such. The level of impecuniosity in the city is as high as the number of matured boys who wake up daily to merely pick pockets, exploit commercial buses or simply stand aloof ubiquitously. There are those who work and there are those who work hard to steal their earnings. In the end, everyone claims to want a better life.

            Yet, these are not adequate reasons to feed on a whale. The baby whale whose corpse was abandoned by both the germane government agencies and animal rights initiatives did not die a good death. The members of the crowd who made pepper soup, barbecued meat and vegetable stew out of its corpse are probably awaiting another dead whale. But even if you happened to bear an uncontainable penchant for sea foods, would you join a boisterous crowd to mince meat portions off the body of another mammal?

Why Dogs Cry

         Rover was the second dog we had in my nuclear family. Energetic, frolicking and always up to something, he never allowed a moment of emptiness to have its way. If he was not hiding a bone, he was excavating the earth for one. I still recall having to shovel up sands and stones and garner fatigued tyres to protect the earth from the ecstatic dog’s gymnastic exercises. I have uploaded a couple of videos from Youtube in this post to feed your curiousity on the behavioral pattern of some dogs.

 Now, something was peculiar about Rovers. He was not just a dog; he was a dog’s dog. I observed severally that whenever a car or a train of automobiles blew sirens, Rovers would uprightly extend his head towards the skies and howl like a grieving wolf in the dead woods. Fitfully, he would transit between the lawn and the junk yard as though trying to find a way out of the fenced compound. Initially, I thought he was just trying to be funky or show territorial presence. So, one day, I busted outdoors to shout him down till he obliged and resort to mellowed noises and grumbling. But on a second thought, I realized he was attempting to communicate with the other guy at the remote end and left him alone. He probably perceived someone in danger was trying to get his help or attention. That person or supposed someone was the other guy. What a nice dog Rovers was! He was not human yet his affection for other “people” was deep-rooted.

But have you ever wondered why your dog cries? Or if you don’t own one, do you know why the ones trying to wake up the entire neighbourhood cry at night? Some say, they see ghosts and that if you removed some of the vitreous waste on the tips of their eyes and applied it to yours, you would see what they see. Entities like ghosts, vampires, witches, members of the underworld, etc, would appear to you. Others have screamed out in response, “superstition and white lies!”. Well, I do not know if those holding either claim have been wearing dogs’ eyes to confirm their speculations. But if it’s true, I think you’re better off not experimenting, especially if you are not an ophthalmologist.  That's a word of advice from someone who thinks you shouldn't try it in Africa; except, of course, if you know exactly what you are doing. But most dogs actually cry because they are afraid and want company. Yes, dogs could get scared too. In the midst of whispering winds and humming birds, dogs could pee in their pants. That finally explains why Rovers often jumped at my lanky frame to lick me in the face whenever I had a reason to go outdoors at night. And I often did because of "Up Nepa" or just to tuck our generator in its bed sheets.

As human beings, we sleep at night to recharge our bodies and cool our "engine" (the heart). But dogs have to stay awake and watch in fear. So, they would be glad if you could, at least, walk them out before the night arrives. Most dogs relish this ritual, particularly those left at home all day long. In the absence of activity, almost all dogs find time to sleep during the day. Then in the thick of the night, when trees throw their shadows across the lawn, under the moon’s torch and the breeze forms a wizardly hum, the insomniac dogs are left alone in the dark. Let’s face it, who wouldn’t hallucinate? Even if a ghost does not appear you would believe you have seen one. Dogs have to bear all that while you snore aloud. From the spoken burdens we cannot hear to the pending dangers we cannot see, they keep a lot within their hearts. Yet, in the morning, they run at us and cheer us up. They are faithful, persevering and brave and we should care  about them too. So, when next the night comes and your dog is wide awake and very bored, show him\her some care and offer a pat before you go and snore aloud.