There is a young man whom you do not know. But I know him and
have received the permission to write about him. So, you get to read this
story. When he was about 11 years old, he tolerated the rape of a young girl
who had gone to watch cartoon in some "uncle's" apartment within
their neighbourhood. The victim had cried to him for help with the evidence of
an underwear that was heavily stained with sperm. Disgusted by the news, the
boy went to confront the man in anger. The guilty man who felt ashamed and did
not deny the accusation said, “I am sorry. It is the work of the devil.” The boy wished he could chastise the “uncle”
for raping his younger sister. He tried to fight him. But he was not his match.
So, he went to report the incident to an aunty who lived in the same building
as the so-called uncle.
After narrating the story, the woman was
touched. But to his amazement, she took no serious actions. She simply went
over to the man's apartment to rebuke him saying, "Agbaya, e o kuku mo ju
blue filmu lo laye yin..." Meaning, "You old-for-nothing man, all you
ever do with your life is watch pornographic movies..." Then, she went
over to the next house where the victimised 7 year-old girl lived and warned
her to be careful with stupid unsolicited visits because they will not earn her
anything less than what she had received. “If at this young age, you have
started seducing men and watching blue films with jobless idiots, what will you
do when you mature?” That was her judgement. Nothing else was done. The boy was
disappointed. He wished he could have done something to punish the man and
avenge his molested sibling. But he couldn't. All he could do was say evil prayers
for the “uncle” and provide “sorry” and “stop crying” to his little sister. Amidst sobs and falling tears, his sister
asked, "Why did uncle XYZ ask me to sit on his lap? Why did he urinate on
my pant? Why did he squeeze my chest with his hands? I told him to stop but he
did not answer. He said I should keep quiet that he would buy me Mr Biggs. I
told him it was hurting me but he did not answer. He told me we’re doing
cartoon. Now, aunty is angry with me. What will mummy say when she comes? Daddy
will beat me. Won’t he? She then looked her brother in the eye, “Are you angry
with me too?” “No, I am not angry with you” He replied. “I am angry with uncle
XYZ for doing this to you. He should be arrested and locked up in the prison.
But I am confused by what aunty did. I wonder why she did not beat uncle XYZ or
even tell the police.”
They had a house girl who had gone out on a date
with one of her admirers. When she arrived, they told her too about the
incident. She was surprised and raved madly over to the man’s apartment and
nagged him for about thirty minutes. But again, she returned home to warn the
kids not to tell anyone about the incident. She said, “If Daddy and Mummy hear,
ah, they will beat you o! They will get angry and punish the two of you. That
means, at Christmas, you will not travel with them on vacation and they will
not buy presents for you on your birthdays. Even, they will go and report to
your headmistress in school and everybody will laugh at the two of you during
assembly. Let’s just keep it secret
among us. I promise not tell your Daddy and Mummy. Oya, you too promise me that
you won’t tell them.” Out of fear, the kids promised to never tell their
parents. The house girl examined the little girl, washed her in the bathroom
and changed her dress before she incinerated the evidencing underwear. Later
on, she gave them out of the goodies her boy friend had bought for her and
calmed the little girl to sleep. The boy felt something was wrong somewhere. He
knew what that uncle did was called rape and felt there should be a punishment
for it. But he did not know what to do. He couldn’t predict how his parents
would react if they heard about the incident. He wondered if his sister was
guilty. He was confused and angry and somewhat ashamed. But he had to let it
go. Of course, the parents came back in the night, as usual, when the kids had
gone to bed. They never heard of the incident until the kids were grown-ups. The
brother did not say a word about it until his thirty-something year-old sister couldn’t
stop having relational issues with men. She had grown hatred and mistrust
towards men over the years and it was affecting her at work and in her
relationships. By then, “the idle uncle” had emigrated from their neighbourhood
and gotten lost in the shoal of 150 million Nigerians. It seemed too late to
mete out justice. But more importantly, the awful experience had left the victimised
girl in need of a help she never received.
There is just one lesson I'd like to share through this
story:
Quality time is a characteristic of quality parenting. If
you are not parenting your own kids, you are jeopardising their precious
future. Expensive gifts, costly education, professional housemaid, rich
neighbours, DSTV, innocent drivers, etc cannot do the work for you. Such artificial
style of parenting is becoming rampant in several urban centres today. Parents
should remember that idle uncles (and aunties) are everywhere; and they hardly
wear caution slogans on their foreheads.
Special thanks to whom it concerns for granting us
publication permission.
